Detoxification Eve

I sit here on the eve of my detox, a caramel apple on my plate. I forgot I had it in the fridge, and I just couldn’t bare throwing it away before embarking on my 28 day raw food diet detox. I figure I have a good 30 minutes before the stroke of midnight to indulge… (takes huge bite of caramel apple)… Damn, this tastes good!

Lately, I’ve been feeling the adverse effects of a poor, low fiber, high sugar, salt, and fat diet. I am typically quite disciplined, and hold to a fairly strict diet and workout routine. Somewhere along the way, I lost it. I seriously LOST IT. I lost my sense of being, awareness, energy all messed up, and stagnant. We all go through it. Some people more than others. Some of us are in a permanent state of this, that they don’t know any different. I, on the other hand DO.

I am in the process of “Job acquisition”. I decided to call it that because I felt it had a more positive flare, rather than job “hunt”, or job “search”. Both of those descriptions allow for negativity to seep in. As though the ability for you to not get a job, is actually plausible. To me, I don’t want the thought of me NOT getting a job to be a reality. So, job “acquisition” it is!

Anyways, for almost a month now, I’ve been struggling to reach some point of normalcy. However, I’ve allowed myself to slip even further down a dark hole in the process. I cam to the realization that. I NEED HELP! All kinds of help. Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, you name it, I need it! At the same time, I also realized that the only person who can help me, is me!

This, is where the overwhelming feeling come over you, because you don’t even know where to start. You’ve convinced yourself to this point that you are in the state of being you’re in, because of outside forces. It’s x, y, and z’s fault, not mine. Oh boy. Well, for me I now see that it’s all me. The opposing, negative, SOB forces will always be at play. They will always be there to try and sink they’re sharp, toxic, and ravenous teeth into you. Either you stand there and let it happen, or you run like hell! I guess I just layed down and closed my eyes, because I got eaten up like a bag of lays potato chips! I allowed myself to be where I am today, and I’ve now made the decision to 1. enroll in this detox for 28 days 2. start back working out, with a combination of pilates and yoga. There are other personal goals I will share later, but those are the two that take precedent. I have to regain balance, inside and out. I need to put the best foods in my body, cleans out the garbage inside, and mentally and spiritually cleanse. It’s all connected. From there, I will work on other goals.

Tomorrow, I am waking up at 6:45am to meditate, and start my day with intent. This is what we were told to do for the detox. Then I will take a crap load of these herbs. I will take my shower, eat a piece of fruit for breakfast, get my daughter ready for her first day at her new school, and be on my way.

Wish me luck. I know the first week will be ridden with withdrawals of various foods, especially my addiction to sugar! I will keep you updated daily as to what I’m experiencing and feeling.